Jesus Is Not Coming Soon… by Ikenna Valentine Oje.

It was 6.00 in the evening.
The program on T.V was captivating and it was the most interesting series ever to grace the screen.

I half lay and half sat on the couch, making loops with the smoke from my half smoked cuban ciga….
Sipping my glass of cold Amarula. This was the 3rd bottle.
My eyes were feeling heavy and my vision was getting hazy…
I knew I’d had a little too much to drink.
If my boss ever found me in this state, I’d lose my job for good!  I’d heard he had a knack for making sudden visits to the staff at short notice!
Well…. I’d be notified!
But right now, the movie had my attention and my eyes never left the screen! Everything about the job could wait.
Afterall I packaged myself well in the office.
I could afford to have some fun.
This was the good life!

I was a top executive in a state-of-the-art company where Image was the priority and where I hoped to become a Manager in no distant time!
I’d helped build the company. Now it was a global enterprise!

My company operated a strict ‘no drinking..no smoking’ policy.
Your success and promotion also depended not only on your aptitude… But on your attitude, and your disposition both in and out of the office!
I’d heard once of a top rated staff who lost his job with all the entitlements simply because he was drinking alcohol at home!!

Now to you, that might sound a bit extreme.. But we all read the agreement before we signed and took up the job.
Anyway.. Nobody had time for such things anymore… Or so I thought!

“Bauer!! Bauer!!!!…. Where on planet earth did this ‘Jack Bauer’ guy come from? This guy is unbelievable”
The movie was ’24’ and Jack was doing his thing!

Suddenly my eye strayed to my phone which was on the table. ‘That’s wierd’, I thought to myself. It was unlike me not to have received any call all this while.
I picked up the phone.
‘What?!….. 25 missed calls? 10 messages?’….
I suddenly remembered putting the phone on silent mode to avoid distraction.

“HoneY”….
In an instant, I forgot the phone… I forgot the movie!
Her voice had that effect.

I turned and there she was, standing with her back towards me, intently gazing at the window!

She had stepped out of the bedroom without my hearing her footsteps.
She wore a very sexy lingerie that accentuated her curves. I licked my lips as my mind drew images of a movie much better than that on the screen!

“Honey”……
My eyes strayed from her hair to her hips…..
Who would believe I just met her a month ago?!
God must really love me!
I struggled to focus… I realized I was drunk.

“Honey.. Are you expecting someone?!”
‘No dear. Why?’

At that moment the phone rang and I hurriedly picked it up while I signalled her to be quiet.
It was my best friend Emeka.. A cool headed good-looking dude who worked in the same organisation with me.
He was a calm and easy-going dude…but today he sounded frantic!

“Where on earth did you keep your phone?! I’ve been calling! Did you not see my calls and messages?!”
I remembered that in my haze and daze, I’d forgotten to check my calls and messages.
What could be so urgent?

“The Boss has been trying to reach you. He said he called you a number of times to no avail. He’s coming to your house SOON.”

Suddenly… The phone dropped from my hand. I could still hear the urgency in Emeka’s voice as he screamed desperately into the phone.
He knew me…. He knew the part of me that I felt my boss did not know…
He knew what I’d be doing at home…
And he did not want me to lose my job!

I stood in the living room and tried to focus.
The smoke from my cigar hung in the air like a mist.

“How much time did I have to clean up this mess and be prepared?!”

Suddenly I realised she was still there. My queen of all beauties was still standing transfixed and gazing outside.

“Sweetheart…”, I called out to her, trying to hide the urgency in my voice.
“Sweetheart… My friend just called. He said my Boss is coming to see me SOON. I need you to help me clear up this place. Clean it up.. Get the air freshener. Do it fast cos he’ll be here very SOON and I can’t afford to let him see me in this state. I need to bathe and freshen up… Or I Will lose my job!”

She turned slowly…. Like one who was being moved against her will.
She turned and looked at me.
The fear and apprehension in her eyes were palpable!
She opened her mouth…
And through quivering lips, I heard her say…..
“HE’S HERE”

At that moment, the doorbell Rang!!

Jesus is NoT coming soon…
He’s HERE!!

Written by Dr Ikenna Valentine Oje aka Dr Val. Follow him @valentineoje on twitter.